Hi there, and welcome to The Zodiac Corner.
The Zodiac Corner is a very true, and very honest study of the stars, and application of how your zodiac sign may affect your every day life.
In this week’s post, we shall be looking at how the zodiac signs will influence where, and how, a man will propose to his wife.
Aries (March 21-April 19): Newspaper advert: An Aries lives a life of debauchery, degeneracy and perversion, and breaks a couple of hearts along the way. His major tool for getting women is his romantic style, which shows in his proposal. He writes a very sweet poem in the center spread of a top newspaper, ending it with an equally sweet proposal. The aim is also to let the people of his past life know he is now a changed man, and not to contact him anymore.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Adventure Hunt: A playful but equally smart person, a Taurus uses an adventure hunt to test his woman’s resourcefulness and mental strength to see if she’s worth it. He leaves her a series of clues and hints to guide her on the way, and waiting for her at the end will be the prize which reads, “will you be my partner for life?”
Gemini (May 21-June 20): With friends and family: A Gemini is big on family values, and likes to share special moments, such as a marriage proposal, with family and close friends. A surprise dinner with the people closest to the couple is usually the setting for a Gemini’s proposal.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): Mall: A sucker for attention, a Cancer sees the mall as the perfect place for a marriage proposal. Amidst the crowd of true shoppers, window shoppers and jobless people, a Cancer will go down one knee so everyone can bring out their phones and see him propose to his woman.
Leo (July 23-August 22): Hire singer: Unable to find the words to express his deepest feelings, a Leo hires a singer to smoothen his way through the proposal. As Small Doctor croons “If you no get money, hide your face”, he kneels in front of his woman and blurts out, “please marry me.”
Virgo (August 23-September 22): At someone’s wedding: Virgos are typically known for their lack of regard for other’s feelings. Just as his woman catches the bouquet at someone’s wedding, he casually brings out his ring and proposes. They end up getting thrown out, but he doesn’t even mind.
Libra (September 23-October 22): At the beach: A Libra is a lover of nature, and will usually propose to his significant other at the beach. As they enjoy the rise and fall of the waves, he picks the perfect moment to propose to her. They consummate the proposal with sex, with mammy water spirits cheering them on.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Inside food: Food is the happy place for a Capricorn. So it’s no surprise that he’ll place a wedding ring inside pounded yam for his wife-to-be. As she spits out the ring and tries to recover from almost choking, he smiles sheepishly and asks her the ultimate question.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Candlelight dinner: After a childhood spent watching The Notebook and Titanic, a Sagittarius is the model romantic. He proposes to his woman during a candle lit dinner at the best restaurant in town, booking it so they are the only ones in it. With the smell of beautifully-made Moin-Moin wafting from the kitchen, he tells her how much she means to him, and asks her to be his, forever.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): On 3rd Mainland Bridge: A master tactician, a Capricorn is known to plan his moves so that he always wins. On their way back to Ikeja from the island at around 11pm on Friday night, he stops in the middle of 3rd Mainland Bridge and asks her to marry him. Knowing that she’ll have to come down from the car if she says no, a Capricorn gets his woman to commit to him forever.
Aquarius (January 20 to February 18): During sex: The most selfless of them all, an Aquarius is only concerned with his woman’s happiness. As he gives her master strokes during a cold wet night in Stoke, he waits till she’s almost at her orgasm, because asking her in a raspy tone, “would you be mine forever?” He times his thrusts so she screams “yessss” in joy and happiness.
Pisces (February 19 to March 20): Doing something stupidly extra: Pisces like to think outside the box, but are guilty of going too far from the box and losing their way totally. A Pisces man will do things like propose with 99 iPhones or make her skydive with him so he can pop the question in the air.