This will arguably the most what-the-actual-hell post I may ever write. I almost still can’t believe it happened.

Okay. So here goes.

A young lady walks into a bank in Nnewi, Anambra state. A Diamond Bank branch, to be particular. (Don’t let this affect your opinion of Diamond Bank).

She stands in a queue, and soon after, a young man stands behind her. This is perfectly normal. She says the man in question was resting her on a bit, and tried to shift but he shifted with her. This is a little bit normal.

She notices he had covered both hands and his crotch region with a piece of paper. This is also perfectly normal.

All of a sudden, she feels what she describes as “something hot” on her legs, and turns back to find roughly 300 million spermatozoa seeking residency on her legs.

This is certainly not normal.

She turns back and serves a buffet of slaps to our dear young man, before the situation was handled by security officers.

While this is extremely funny, it is also very sad. And disgusting.

Read her account of the incident, and photos below.

I went to Diamond bank (Nnewi) today and went to their customer service to lay a complaint but the crowd at the spot was much so I stood in one of the queues there, there was this guy (via pix) behind me I noticed he was somehow resting on me so I moved a little and he moved with me, I noticed something suspicious so I looked back I saw him crossed both of his hands covered with a paper down his waist…. I kept mute and was busy with my phone I noticed something behind me again I turned and saw him with his hands at the same position so all of a sudden I felt something hot dripped on my leg to my outmost surprise it was a sperm I turned gat hold of him and gave him some hot slaps I know he has never received in his life before…. if not for the securities that intervene like seriously he won’t live to remember a day like this ??? #what_an_assault????

A photo posted by Anaeto_Amaka_Vivy (@mizz_amaka_chinny) on