The recent outbreak of meningitis across Nigeria is God’s way of punishing the citizens for their constant fornication.
This is according to Governor Abdul-Aziz Yari, of Zamfara state. (I swear down this is not a joke. He actually said this).
Speaking to newsmen, Governor Yari said God sent down Type C cerebrospinal meningitis because people refused to stop fornicating.
“What we used to know as far as meningitis is concerned is the ‘type A virus’ which had been tackled through vaccinations by the World Health Organisation (WHO). However, because people refused to stop their nefarious activities, God now decided to send Type C virus, which has no vaccine,” the governor said.
“People have turned away from God and He has promised that ‘if you do anyhow, you see anyhow,’ that is just the cause of this outbreak as far as I am concerned. There is no way fornication will be so rampant and God will not send a disease that cannot be cured,” Yari stated.
“The most important thing is for our people to know that their relationship with God is not smooth. All they need to do is repent and everything will be all right.”
Health organizations have already begun donating vaccines, though Gov. Yari, in his infinite wisdom, does not believe it will be “enough for Zamfara people alone, not to talk of Katsina or Kano”.
He said: “Our Focus as a state now is to continue treating those who are infected with the disease, but as for vaccination, it has an international dimension. We have information that Nigeria will get the highest percentage of the 5 million doses available now. Apart from WHO, other International bodies such as the Bill Gates foundation and UNICEF are also currently focusing on how to tackle the outbreak.”
You heard it guys. Stop fornicating. And repent so that God can cure all diseases.