The Access Bank Lagos City Marathon returns once again, and holds on the 10th of February.

It’s an annual event that brings the world’s best long distance athletes together as they compete for the ultimate cash prize: a whooping $50,000.

Yup. 20 million Naira.

I know the title of the post reads How to Win and whatever, but let’s be serious. You have as much chance of winning as Olamide has for winning a Grammy for Best R&B Performance.

First of all, it’s 42 kilometres. The race starts at the National Stadium, Surulere, and ends at Eko Atlantic. You right lung will give up at Jibowu, the other lung at Anthony, and full system collapse at Gbagada (see featured image for visual interpretation).

Also, did I mention the world’s best marathon runners are coming? What I actually mean is: Kenyans are coming. While your sperm was sprinting to come out, their own sperm cells did 100 laps around the testis before jogging out. You’re at a biological disadvantage.

However, there’s a 10km run just for beautiful lazy people like you and I, where the winner gets a brand new GAC saloon car. Now that’s worth risking temporary renal collapse for.

Have you registered? Entry is free, and you can register here: